Listening online: The Gift of Ear
Are you a good listener? I mean a really good listener – someone who incites a conversation, keeps engaging your audience, and offers signals that you are truly at attention?
I just read a great article on listening to conversations, “Master the Art of Listening and Watch All Your Relationships Thrive” by Gail Brenner, Ph.D on the Dumb Little Man blog.
The article identifies seven great (if not obvious) tips for training yourself to listen better and talk less, and includes some science to back up the benefits. The article as well as the very valuable comments following got me thinking about a couple of personal friends, and answered my age-old question about why they have so many ‘friends’. I should rephrase that: how do they consistently bring new people into their lives, some temporary, some inner circle ticket holders. They are both outgoing and gregarious, but neither see themselves as having the gift of gab. They can both just chat anyone and everyone up, regardless of social status, background, or walk of life.
THE GIFT OF ‘EAR’
It has occurred to me that they are indeed very good listeners. They are inquisitive of others, especially people they’ve just met – whether at the grocery store, crosswalk or at a convention or high-falutin’ cocktail party. They both have the gift of ‘ear’. People love to talk about themselves or something they are passionate about, and with just a nudge of interest from either of my two friends, folks can’t help but gush forth. My buddies continue to engage and are sincerely interested in their subjects’ stories. When the conversation comes to an end, my friends have unknowingly made an indelible impression on their new acquaintances, and usually meet up later down the road or in another situation with the same enthusiasm as their first encounter.
The key is their insatiable curiosity and profound, sincere interest in people. I like to call them my Collector friends. Their circle of friends is far and wide, with varying degrees of depth and history. Do they consider themselves “popular”? Not at all. And neither can understand why they have such a busy social schedule or why their phones won’t stop ringing. They love every minute of it, though.
LISTENING ONLINE
Social Media and networking is a way to collect people from all corners of your field, neighborhood, or globe. Sincerity (and insincerity) can absolutely be sensed online. Starting and engaging in online conversations, whether @replies on Twitter, commenting on blogs, Facebook and review sites, or writing a recommendation on LinkedIn, are great ways to listen. Truly listen to your customers, guests, fans and followers. Better yet, ignite a conversation by asking a question, commenting or congratulating them publicly.
Folks like @SeattleMaven (interview) and @AugustFirst (interview) demonstrate excellent online listening skills as they engage with their big city visitors and small town patrons, respectively.
Everyone loves attention and kudos. And everyone loves to tell their story. Building upon your online listening skills increases the quality of your conversations, followers and connections. Just like my two friends.
